It’s the strange place that you thought you’d never go.

It was a paradigm shift when they thought the world was flat.

I’m really curious about what my heart really wants, or maybe, needs. For so many years, I guess I never really did understand myself. I was just basically going on and on but to nowhere. I haven’t actually really moved on much and have pretty much been stuck at the same spot for years.

That’s the problem with me, I always guess and jump to conclusions on what I think might be the best for me. Then I’ll convince myself that everything will be alright at the end of the day. No, it won’t. If it ain’t right, forcing it will only make things worse.

In just a mere few weeks, I actually feel different. I feel like, sometimes, I can be in control of myself. Maybe not my temperament, yet.. But my thoughts. I try to be more positive, I try to tell myself to see the ‘good’ part in a situation/outcome. I try to appreciate the little things in life, like the aroma of my coffee when it is freshly brewed from the machine. It smells so good, I think I’m a coffee addict.

/starts to digress/

Even though I do complain that work is boring, I have been very thankful for having probably the most wonderful colleagues ever. They are always looking out for me, especially one person in particular. We grew close, because of K-Pop. Whenever I used to walk past her desk (When I was still seated nearby), I would hear CN Blue music playing from her desktop. So one day, I plucked up the courage and asked, “Woah, so you listen to CN Blue?” And then from then on, we hit off really well.

Since then, I have introduced endless BIGBANG songs to her, gave her many many of the Korean songs that I love, from Girl’s Day, to B.A.P, Exo etc. And yes, her daughter, is kind of a BB fan as well. We would always be on the same frequency level, making funny jokes, and I love how she’s so friendly and jovial all the time!

Even my room mate (Well, since we are working in the same room), makes me feel like I’ve met one of the nicest people ever. He’s a guy who’s very positive, I’ve never actually seen him flare up or look anything less than happy before. He’s always so appreciative of his wife’s efforts, he tries to crack jokes to destress. Even when he’s ‘complaining’, he looks so dorky doing so because his actions are so cartoon. And he always tells me about little things in life, which I find are really good life lessons, and I’ve got so much to learn from him.

I’m really thankful for this short but memorable opportunity I have with this company.

/end of digression/

But, reading other people’s thoughts on whatever media they chose to post on, has led me to reflect about my own life. Yeah, I am having things so much better than others. Maybe except for university choices at the moment, which is such a pain in the ass but I know there’s no one else but myself to blame for that. So many ‘if only’s, but the time that has passed will never return again.

I feel like maybe I’m gradually maturing into someone better. Not exactly the most patient and polite person but definitely, better. I try very much to be thankful.

I am, for many things. For certain people in my life.

I’m glad they have made a difference.

I have been so comfortable in my own skin. I say what’s on my mind, I need not hide. I feel like I’m showing my true self, and it feels so good. I don’t need to say something else just to let someone else feel comfortable/better or worry that they might overthink/misinterpret/get hurt (Though I do try to be tactful). I will react in the way I like best, and not because I’m doing it out of sympathy.


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