All the colours start to blend, your system overloads again.

In about 2 weeks time, when the clock strikes 12.. I’m going to start living the last teenage year of my life.. What in the world happened to my 18th year?

It flew passed in a blink of an eye. Half of it was spent on mugging for A levels, and the other half on work, which made time pass even much faster. 18 is supposed to be the best time of your life.. Like Sweet 16, ??? 18.. And then 21, as you proceed to being an adult and start to do mundane adult work, like paying the bills on time etc.

This 18th year, was one that was filled with regret, much ups and downs. And I always tell myself that I have no one to blame but myself. Despite the outcome being very much unsatisfactory, I know that I have genuinely tried hard to work towards it.. Especially for Econs. Maybe it wasn’t the best, I felt like I’ve never studied so hard in my entire life before. It used to always be a breeze in Primary school, and then I started to slack off in Secondary school. If it was any fault, it was my lackadaisical attitude over the years, and it has snowballed into a situation like that today.

Time is irreversible and everything happens for a reason. Maybe it’s a wake up call to throw me back into the arms of reality and face up to the fact that in a few years time, I will be out working, facing real-life struggles, just like any other adult. I really need that push and determination, also the desire to prove others’ wrong. To exceed their expectations. To throw them off their feet. To make their jaws drop wide open. To make them eat the words they so easily rattled off from their mouths. Maybe I should start to care a little more about what people actually think about me and use it as a positive motivation for myself (to shut them up).

Maybe I should live my life crazily for the next 2 weeks. Do something intense. Feel something different. It’s time to be adventurous.

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