I was browsing through YouTube and happened to chance upon the trailer for this movie (Pardon my inner pervert), and it was… Intriguing. It seemed interesting trying to understand the main lady for her behaviour, the way she is, rather than coming across as a thrashy movie that’s trying to sell plain hardcore sex.
By the end of the movie, it got me thinking a lot about relationships and love..
‘Marriage and prostitution are the same thing. You become the property of someone else.’
How much truth is there in that quote? What if you ended up marrying someone who turned out not to be who they initially were and is totally wrong for you? What are the limits of how much you can tolerate and bear?
I just want to wake up the next day, looking at the face of the person I love, knowing that he loves me back the same way, and I know I can depend on that person.
I went to bed with a heavy heart and many issues boggling my mind. I had the weirdest dream ever. Like someone would appear any moment and take your life away. In my dream, I was afraid of dying. Terribly afraid. When I woke up, I knew that there was just so many things I want to experience and do, to live the life I want with no regrets and anyone can then take my life away when it was at it’s fullest.
Now that I’m down with a fever, with my bones aching from top to toe, I really shouldn’t be thinking about all these. For once in the longest time, I felt really upset. I feel more confused than ever now. I couldn’t help tearing so badly in the shower. Maybe it’s this headache that’s messing up with my mind and emotions as well.
But I don’t want to see the doctor despite my mum constantly asking me to do so. I can’t help but feel a slightly perverse pleasure in feeling unwell, feeling weak, as if I could crumble any moment. And I wonder who will pick me up at that moment.