Was on the way home, trying to control my emotions and not suddenly burst into tears. Tried so hard to distract myself and finally, by the time I got home, I felt so faint and my fingers were trembling..
Didn’t help that my parents were sort of engaging in a silly quarrel.. It’s so silly, I don’t even get it.
I used to always engage in such useless fights in my past relationships, and at the end of the day it’s so tiring. I don’t get why you would want to upset the one you love on purpose, like you know they will get hurt, and you still do it. And it’s not even funny. Or maybe I take things seriously, but seriously, some times there is a limit. When it gets past the tolerant point, it’s no longer funny. Sooner or later, you just get really tired of it, and you just want to get out of the whole thing.
I see it at home sometimes. I get annoyed, when either of my parents decide to say something to each other, that’s kind of offending. But I can’t say anything because I’m in no position too. I simply don’t see the point in doing that. It just creates friction and some sort of distance between each other.
Maybe you take things lightly initially, then as time goes past and the same ‘jokes’ keep ricocheting back and forth, you start to wonder if you should ever take anything seriously.
Every time I get the urge to shoot something mean back, just to feel better about myself, I think of what Simon & Martina said in one of their TL;DRs (Probably one of my favourite videos ever):
“The whole concept of fighting is silly to us because we’re a married couple. We love each other a lot, we like each other a lot. We’re with each other every day and we just know how to avoid making that person upset. I mean why would I want to fight with Martina? I have full control over my actions, I can control my emotions as well. I never want to hurt her or harm her in any way, and so I have no urge to fight her whatsoever.”
And then I decide not to make any snide remarks. Just to feel victorious for like what, 3 minutes. It’s not worth it. To jeopardise everything just for a temporary high.
I really wished such miracles would happen more often, or may there be more of such couples in this world.
Such love gives me hope.