It’s so beautiful it makes you wanna cry.

I’ve no idea how this post would look like since I’m typing this on my phone. Woops.

28 September 2012, what a memorable and possibly, exhilarating day.

After the BIGBANG Alive tour, I must say I’m really surprised with how I’m so calm and rational. I’m not crying, or anything, wanting to see them, tell them how much I love them.

It comes as a shock to me but I think my ‘lack of enthusiasm, or should I say fangirl feels’ comes from how I’m partially cut off from the rest of my fandom and other Kpop fans that might possibly fuel this feeling. Yes, I’m still connected, but I can’t do intensive research about my boys. My computer has been down for 3 days. I guess it’s also great to know that maybe my enthusiasm was probably hyped up all along (partially to irritate/annoy people who diss Kpop /cues playful music/).

The show was great. Could have been better I suppose. But it was a dream come true, to have seen my favourite Kpop group live.

I think I was disappointed with the order of the songs and the encore part.. Partially, I feel that Hands Up would have been a better encore song, instead of placing it as the second performance. And how it was a waste that during the encore, they repeated the Alive songs. They really did perform many songs throughout the entire 2 hours.. So of course, I must cut the live band some slack, and they are pretty damn awesome I must say. It’s just well, since it’s an Alive tour, I was hoping they could do Love Dust & Ain’t No Fun as well.

Of course, I was really impressed at different points of time. Mostly by Youngbae and Daesung. Their vocals blew me off. Their stage presence was great. I loved their sincere interaction with the crowd. I might have wavered slightly towards Daesung, his eye smiles and genuine smiles but when Top started chooming in the most derpy manner, I knew again why he has always been my all time favourite, from the very beginning. G-dragon was really impressive too, such a small guy but his presence fills up the whole stage, nah scratch that, the whole arena. Leader is just capable of all that. Seungri’s vocals were slightly disappointing, but I could feel the sincerity in his voice and him trying to connect with the crowd. I wanted to shout to him, tell him it’s okay, his scandals don’t define who he is, entirely. I wanted him to feel loved, this maknae, that never seems to learn. And there’s TOP. He was his usual, slightly cold self, nothing wrong. Despite his injured arm, he still tried his best to dance. His sexy and emotive vocals resound in my mind. The way he teases the crowd, that’s my boy.

One of the most tremendous feelings was how the fans were waving their yellow crowns, some with the crown headbands.. It was, such a beautiful sight. And that was one of the main reasons why I wanted to experience a Kpop concert. I love how everyone are in sync in this sense. You see a sea of yellow crowns, it is a glorious sight. And then during songs like Haru Haru and Feeling, we sang in unison, it was uh-ma-zing. I remember hearing a recording of fans singing the chorus of Haru Haru on Tumblr and I was so moved to tears. I feel great knowing I was part of the crowd, adoring them, making them feel loved. Even if I’m just an individual that doesn’t make much a difference, but when you put all the individuals like me together, we are a cohesive unit that come together for the same reason.

I’ll be contented to know that they are doing well and I’ll continue to support them, through buying their albums, listening to their music and being their fan.

And to you, thank you for all the beautiful memories that you’ve created for me. I’m sure we’ll continue to create new stories of our own and I’ll have the time of my life fighting dragons with you. Thank you for being so patient and assuring. Your words give me great insight and don’t worry about them putting pressure on me. I hope that you’ll continue to be that leaning shoulder for me, walking with me to school and home with your virtual presence. /crosses fingers/

In a weird sense, reality doesn’t seem to hit me yet. After all, yesterday felt so surreal. From day to night, it’s like ‘What? You mean all that happened?’ Not in a bad way of course, but I could experience it again 🙂

And when you’re reading this, you could listen to Taylor Swift’s Long Live, because that’s how I feel when I’m with you.

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