They slap you like a bitch and you take it like a whore.

I don’t know if this is a rant but I think it’s more than just a rant. It’s just an issue I’ve been thinking about subconsciously and all for a long period of time. If I come across as a bitch, then I guess, too bad, that’s who I am.

Since university started, it has dawned upon me how difficult, yesΒ extremely difficult, it is for me to be able to make friends that I will actually be close to, emotionally, whatsoever. The chances of me finding a good friend would be close to zero (ok maybe there will be one), someone whom I can trust to quite a great extent and understands me well enough. And I don’t think it’s about being in different classes, as true friendships are more than just daily interactions, although it does help in forging closer bonds initially.

I realised, it’s not just girls who are bitchy but guys as well. I shan’t even elaborate. I rather have few friends and be treated with respect than to have more friends and be treated like a bleepingΒ pushover. Just because I choose not to speak up about certain things, doesn’t mean I don’t think or get affected by them. (J, if you are reading this, I’m not talking about you LOL, you are my only male ‘friend’ I have in school by the way, and I thank you for that)

I think I’ve reached the point whereby, I’m near that tolerance limit. I can put up with the shit people tell me, maybe they’re just joking, maybe they think they’re being funny, maybe it’s me being oversensitive but sometimes, people just don’t know where they should stop. Sometimes it reaches a point whereby, it’s no longer funny, and it comes across as rude. Once, or twice, fine. I think if I was still who I used to be, I would be hurling vulgarities all over this post and on Twitter.

Maybe the things people say have some truth but honestly, is there a need for cryptic messages? If you are not happy with the things I do/say, just spill it out nicely. I think whatever I’m being taught in school has also made me think about how people are just simply different from me. I don’t judge your choice, maybe I do poke fun of it, but if you think I’ve gone overboard, I’d rather you tell me and I would take note to be more careful with my words. At the end of the day, cryptic messages will just result in doubt and mistrust. I don’t think I’ve actually really used vulgar language on someone and actually mean it for a pretty damn long time, and this time round, I’m Β actually inching closer and closer to that limit.

I’m not going to blow things up because sometimes, I simply choose to be oblivious about things. Anyway, I’m moving on. I guess, it’s a good thing. New semester, new start.

That’s it.

I really suck at making new friends, but I got to suck it up and learn how to do so. And also be more wary to not let myself be an easy target.

I’ve been too nice, too damn nice. Sometimes, I feel that I should revert back to my mean self and snap at people when they piss me off. Really, I would visualise pulling out the hair of some people. It would feel so good to just fight it out for 5 minutes.

Anyway, I might have been thinking too much into certain things, well that’s just me. If there’s anything I learnt from all my past working experience with different companies, I really hate politics.

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2 thoughts on “They slap you like a bitch and you take it like a whore.

  1. tfaswift says:

    Oh my, I think a lot of people can identify with what you just wrote there. People can be mean especially when someone else is nice and friendly. For some reason they often mistake people who are kind and gentle as being “weak”. That’s such a common and foolish mistake. I get the same thing ALL THE TIME. But I don’t let it ruin my character. I feel good about being a nice person. I never get an attitude with other people for no reason. If they get in my face, then I will deal with it. And they will get a surprise because – like you – I’m not weak.

    And I just assume that everyone is gossiping and backstabbing because that’s what they do. I don’t care about that. They wouldn’t do it unless they think I’m interesting! LOL. But if they give me problems to my face, I will try to understand if I actually did something to offend them and apologise and try to remedy it.

    But if they are just being nasty for no good reason, then I will defend myself appropriately. And then I go back to being very sweet and nice again, because that is actually my true authentic character. I don’t like to fight. I wish I never had to. I’m trying to learn how to talk things through with people without getting angry. But I have felt the same kind of anger you are writing about here. It hurts when people are mean. But it’s better not to become like them. The strongest people are the ones who can go out there with all the mean people and not become the same as everyone else.

    Good rant! I hope you felt a bit better after writing it. Being “popular” is overrated anyway. Being individual and unique is way better, in my opinion. You will always find a few people who like you just like that. It takes longer, but you will find them. πŸ™‚

  2. delicatestrength says:

    Lol spacestruck,
    Loved your post the world is full of jerks an retards. Whenever someone points out a flaw in you or gives you criticsim when they have no right to they are often voicing their own insecurities. The more they hate and point out the flaws the more they reveal about their own character. I’ve been called a slave driver (lol), a challenge, and overtop, but theses criticism only came from people who aren’t satisfied with their own life and are missing challenge and fulfillment in their life. What I’m trying to say is that never take cricticsm personally (lol unless your in a competition or a judge is pointing out you flaws hah). Just pause and remind yourself that it’s about their issues and insecurities not you. If you’re comfortable in your own skin and are satsified with who you are the rest of the world does not matter. You right we don’t need 100,000 superficial friends one true friend is equivalent to 100,000 fake ones. Quality over quantity πŸ˜‰
    Sincerly,
    DelicateStrength πŸ™‚

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