I’m sure most of us know that one guy, that one bastard. Or should I say bad boy. Whatever, I’ll call him a bastard, because at the end of the day, that bad boy is going to remain as a bastard (Like 95% of the time).
I’m not saying all guys are like that, because nope, there are many great guys out there. Oh, don’t forget, the guys who constantly complain about how girls whine on and on about the lack of great guys and *ahem* they talk about how the girls can’t see that they’re right in front of them (Totally dislike such guys by the way – if there is the intention to self-praise. There’s probably a reason why girls don’t like you. Oh, maybe it’s because you’re too self-absorbed?)
But I’m talking about the pure bad boys, and I know it, because honestly, most girls are suckers for bad boys. We think they are cool, suave, attractive, there’s this attraction. Most importantly, I think we don’t actually know it but we kind of anticipate being that special someone, hoping that it’s the opportune moment when we get together with them, and pray that they will actually change for us? That way, we get to be swept off our feet by that badass aura, and yet at the same time, know that they won’t break our hearts.
(/cues Huang Yida’s song/ 奇怪的是這世界男人不壞女人不愛，要帥要體貼又要關懷，這種男人已不存在。)
Wrong. Bad boys are simply just going to be bad. Chances of them changing for us is simply that low. Most of them are the kind who will come up with lots of patterns to excuse their bad behaviour and they think that it’s alright because girls are simply going to fall for their tricks and sweet nothings. Ultimately, there are good guys, it’s just girls end up going to the wrong department to search for them and end up breaking their own hearts instead, which is why love needs to be rational as well.
Maybe these bad guys will change, maybe, but only if they have the willpower to do so. I can quote a personal example. Since I’m one who dislike others to smoke, naturally I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to smoke. My ex-boyfriend did stop smoking for me back then, but halfway through our relationship, he smoked again without my knowledge. When we ended things, he went back to smoking again, hence, there is a slight truth in how a leopard never changes its spots. Of course, if I knew he was so addicted to smoking initially, I wouldn’t even have been together with him in the first place, but what was I thinking when I was 14 – I was just plain blind. Ultimately, I wouldn’t want a guy who would change just for me, I want him to change for himself, simply because he knows that smoking is bad and hence he should quit it.
Therefore, I cannot reiterate further how I’m extremely lucky to have found someone who shares the same thoughts as me on so many different issues.. I may be very flawed but he makes me see beyond my flaws and let me know that they aren’t necessarily bad?
Anyway, my point is that, you should not simply find a guy if you do not have the confidence that he will change because most of the time, you will not the exception (cold hard truth), and you will merely be treated the same as every other girl the bad guy had dated before. It’s easier to find someone who is already what you know you want in the long run, not someone that you think you’ll have a good time with. Sure, it’d be thrilling, exciting but when he breaks your heart, the fall would be even greater.
I’ve made so many wrong choices because of such bad guys before. It really sucks when you realise that you can never change the things you did in your past and you can only allow these mistakes to become lessons and let you grow into someone you really want to be.
I have opened my eyes wide and clear. Geeks are still the best for me. I read my post which dated back to 2009, and I’m glad I haven’t really changed much. I wanted a conservative guy back then, and I’ve got one now :’)