Been thinking a lot lately, perhaps too much. Or maybe I really don’t know at all.
I’ve been feeling so lonely recently, as if no one really understands me. But then again, it’s not as if I understand myself either. I don’t know why I am feeling like this.. Or maybe I do, it’s just that I can’t face up to it.
It still stings, those words still resonate in my head. I don’t know why I would go back to read it again, and make myself upset all over. It really sucks to feel like that isn’t it?
I suddenly feel like distancing myself from so many things, pushing them all away, because now every intimate action reminds me of that moment. It will just keep haunting me, for how long, I won’t know. I don’t even know why’s it affecting me this much. I suspect it’s the work of the monthly hormones again.
I cry myself to sleep, wake up with puffy eyes, go to school and think about it non-stop, listen to the lecturer talk and then drift away into my own train of thought. The cycle keeps repeating, and it’s kind of driving me insane.
Everyone seem so busy with their own things; no one ever stops and wonder if you are okay.
So you tell yourself to be strong in the day when all you really want to do is just to curl up in bed, bawl your eyes out, hope everything will be fine the next day. Apparently, that doesn’t really work.