For a moment, I was ashamed of myself.

I haven’t been writing in such a long while, but having to write this, I guess it’s a way of finding out more about myself.

While we were going down the ramp in the multi-storey carpark, a car coming up (from the opposite direction, obviously) sped up the ramp, cut into our lane to get ahead of the car before him. If my mum hadn’t braked in time, our cars would’ve collided head on. So what we did was to make a loop and go back up to find out the car plate number. So things happened, the guy was obviously not guilty whatsoever, even though he was dangering the lives of others by driving so recklessly. In my mind, I was just thinking, oh my, what if he were to assault my brother or something. Then I found myself being that typical Singaporean, who worries about all the possible ‘what ifs’ and these worries stop us from doing the right thing. I wouldn’t say we handled it in the best manner, because it wasn’t something like seeing a person being molested in front of us and not doing anything but I was ashamed of my own thoughts.

Of course, being the feisty person I am, I tend to stand up for myself (or friends), do a little crazy things once in a while without putting much thought about the possible consequences. What I thought of just now was just, oh no, what if this dude decides to give us trouble in the future. Sometimes, I can’t believe that I was once that 16 year old girl who saw a guy in a mall, chased after him, waited for him outside the toilet and chastised him to return money to a friend.

Ah, my thoughts are incoherent again. I’m just really bad with words.

But on another day, I hope that if I see someone who’s in need of help, I would not want to be one of the passers-by who watch and do nothing. Or worse, the passer-by who has the ability to film the scenario yet doesn’t have the balls to do something right.

So I’ll tell myself, it’s okay to be a little crazy once in a while, it’s okay if you’re doing something good.

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