#116

Final countdown: Just slightly more than a day left.

What seems like fun and excitement has slowly started to fade away. I’ve been so tired from all the endless packing, worrying that I will forget to bring this and that. Now dread is slowly filling me up emotionally, and I’m starting to worry about other things. I feel so upset that I’m alone because I’m such a dependent girl and I’ve always been so reliant on my brother to help me with my heavy luggage! I’m always the one who takes the lighter luggage and I fear so much that I won’t be able to manage with so much baggage.

What puts me off even more is that I’m only going away for just a month and the packing is already driving me nuts and has made me so exhausted before I’ve even embarked on the trip. The thought of even unpacking is so sickening, yet what a relief, to finally be able to come home. I’m dead sure I’ll be homesick (I feel like I’m missing my parents already even when we are just skyping each other from different rooms to make sure Skype works). I think of going away for a semester to US next year and I’m filled with even more dread.

Then I worry that all my worries will make me not enjoy the moment simply because I keep fearing something terrible is going to happen next. (Damnit that age test, it’s so accurate, I’m overly worried and paranoid but I simply can’t help it.) Even before I’m leaving, my luggage seems to exceed the weight limit… I’ve still got so many things that I want to buy… Help 😥

I shouldn’t be feeling like this when I’m going to one of the best places in the world. I really do blame it for being winter. All the extra clothing that has to be packed. Argh 😥

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