有一種說不出的感覺。

By the time this gets published on my blog, I’d be on the plane, all the way towards the other side of the world. Unlike the trip to Korea last December, I’m feeling a whole lot more dread and less excitement this time round. I mean, I am excited and all, but I’m apprehensive, paranoid and worried.

I feel great that this is an opportunity for me to be independent, to be a better manager of my own finances (Trying not to blow off $3000 in a month like I did in Seoul…. Woops).. I look forward to having a room of my own, with a walk-in wardrobe and a personal toilet. I don’t exactly look forward to doing all the chores but I guess this is part of my mini training to become a domestic goddess in the future! Maybe I know I’m a step closer to living less like a bum!

However, many things have happened in the past week. I feel sort of lost and a wave of uncertainty just hits me and spins me silly. I feel nervous thinking about how I’m going to get through the next four months.. But I guess, this is a period that will just train me to be a person that’ll be stronger on many more levels – emotionally, mentally and all.

I feel lost, saying goodbyes to my close circle of friends. What am I going to do without them by my side, especially with the 12 hour difference? Even though there’s Skype and all, the time difference makes it a whole lot more difficult to spend some time with them concurrently, due to lessons etc. On the bright side, since I’m a morning person, I’ll be able to Skype all my loved ones early in the day, which would be a nice after-dinner timing for them.

I hope this trip does not clam me up like I did while I was in Korea.. Back then, I sort of completely shut down from the rest of the world, and became extremely dao. The frequent Skype sessions with my family died down after a while and I was just too caught up with trying to live my life alone in a foreign place. I wouldn’t want this to happen this time round.

I know I can do this.

P.S. I absolutely dread the long flight. The thought of having to stay put in my seat for more than 10 hours makes me so fearful ugh. It’s like I can feel my skin crackling from within *shudders*

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