It’s been two months since I last blogged… While I have so many thoughts running through my head, I’m constantly so overwhelmed by the workload from school. It’s the same cycle – assignments, tests, readings.. This goes on and on non-stop, and I just simply let these thoughts run to nowhere till they come back and hit me again.
I’ve been thinking a lot, on my life, my beliefs, where I am now, where I want to be in the future, my friendships, my relationships.. And I just wish to go back to the past when things were simpler, when I would do something because I felt like doing so, rather than having to go through so many considerations.
More importantly, I’ve been giving a lot of thought into one word – faith.
For the longest time, I’ve simply been laughing this issue off, simply because faith is not something I grew up with. Faith has never exactly been a part of me. Sure, I’ve brushed shoulders with it numerous of times in my life, but I’ve always believed that I know exactly where my stance is on faith.
But these two months, I’ve just been pondering a lot. And I still think my stance on faith has not changed.
And it sucks to know that faith is what is standing between me and a hell lot of things I desire but I know should not be doing so.
I hate how at the end of the day, things could always go so right in every way but there is that one thing that ties so strongly to who you are as a person and you’re like nah.
I’m making all these mistakes, but I can’t help it. The temptation is too great.